The most painful feeling you can have is when you see your neighborhood on the verge of destruction, the deepest sorrow is when you watch the place where you lived all you life and where you dreamed to live being raped by criminals! When you watch the situation in your neighborhood deteriorates and there is nothing you can do, that's the real pain and that's where it's more than enough.
Controlling the emotions and the rage is becoming hard day after day as the destruction and terrorism crawls closer to me.
Yesterday was one of the bloodiest days I have ever witnessed (By my self), I was going back home from work, I was driving my car in my neighborhood streets while listening to the radio, as I was two blocks away from my home, I noticed children running scared from a side street and my neighbors are rushing into that same street, I stepped on the peddle to see what was happening, the radio was a bit loud so I couldn't hear anything so I turned it off and I heard gunshots, they were close, so so close. I reached the side street and I saw the most horrible thing a man can see, there was a car (Kia minivan) escaping and two men shooting at us from it, half of their body was out of the window and they were shooting at us (me and the neighbors) and there were two men on the side walk, drowned in their blood, I wanted to follow them but then I remembered I don't have a gun or any weapon what will I do? in addition to that they were shooting, that means I'll be shot before I reach them, so I decided to go the wounded men and try to help them, at this time the minivan managed to escape, I stepped out of the car and ran to them, one of them was shot in the head and the chest, it was a sure thing that he's dead, the other one wasn't dead yet, he had several shots in his chest and abdomen, I tried to carry him and he was making that terrible voice, he was in the agony of death; struggling and coughing blood, I knew he will die within seconds, so I gently placed him on the pavement; I didn't want him to die in my arms, at this time all the neighbors were out in the street, one of them went to call the national guards from their checkpoint, another one called an ambulance to take the dead bodies. Every one was shocked, this is the first time that such things happen in our neighborhood, every one had tearful eyes, I was in shock and really angry, there was a kid screaming " I saw them, they were carrying the two men in the car then they pushed them out and killed them, then they escaped" few minutes later the national guards arrived to the scene and they forced us to get away so I don't know what happened later, I went home. They weren't from the neighborhood so we couldn't know who they are or why they were killed, but one of them was wearing a gray shirt, he might, just might be in the Adamyia's awakening! And was kidnapped by AQ and killed in my neighborhood, no one knows for sure till this moment who were those two dead men, but whatever, they were two human beings that were killed two blocks away from my home and right in front of me. And as usual nothing was mentioned in the news, they said that 30 unidentified dead body were found in Baghdad.
As I reached home, I was very sad, angry and afraid. I was so depressed. Many things were circling in my head, one of these things is a decision I made to leave Iraq as soon as possible, I'm thinking seriously about that.
A few hours before that incident there was an attempt to assassinate the chair man of Baghdad's health office in my neighborhood also, it wasn't successful
Later that day there were three explosions, two were very close and one was a bit far, I couldn't know were they were.
At that night the door bell rang, it was a very dangerous and strange thing to hear the door bell rings at 9p.m.
They were the national guards, they wanted to search the house, it was the first time the national guards search my house, they were polite but not very friendly. I told their officer "please, take good care of this neighborhood, we don't want it to be ruined" he told me" why, what happened?" I laughed and said "Haven't you heard about the two dead men" he said "NO", I laughed to my self and though, if he didn't know that two men were killed in the street that he is searching then how would he be able to protect us?
Everything was smooth and they left after they completed searching the house, now the image is beginning to complete, the militias and AQ from the surrounding districts are crawling to our neighborhood as it hasn't been controlled by anyone till this moment, so I think there will be a bloody confrontations between the Shiite and Sunni militias for the control of this neighborhood specially if we know it's a mixed neighborhood.
It's clear that the safe areas are becoming dangerous. And there's another thing that concerns me, tomorrow is the Islamic holiday "Eid" and there is a strong rumor that there will be 50 explosive cars during the four days of Eid, I wish it's just a rumor and nothing will happen, I wish; but not all what I wish I can get!